The Prayer
by AugustusOwen
Summary: To make the story short: Butters was a complete and utter loser, lacking a social life, and received daily beatings from his dad. It sure wasn't how Butters had pictured his life being like when he had been in the fourth grade. Bunny, Style; Abused!Butters, Explicit Content


Quick Warnings: physical/mental abuse, drug abuse, explicit content overall.

This is more of an introduction chapter. If y'all like it, hit me up with some review/faves/follows to let me know to keep writing this baby. If you want to give me some advice on how to write certain characters (ex: Butters' hick accent, but that shouldn't be too hard to do considering I have one myself), tell me through a review or a PM. Please enjoy.

* * *

Butters can't really remember the first time his dad hit him.

It was no doubt over something stupid, maybe over what color they should repaint the bathroom walls with, a rare moment when Butters had been assertive in his opinion. But now Butters never argued and was still hit. Maybe he just deserved it for some unfathomable reason. Maybe he deserved it because he was a "pitiful faggot" like Eric so fondly called him on a daily basis. Or used to call him. He didn't really hang out with Cartman anymore. He rarely hung out with anyone really. Ever since high school started, Butters had drifted apart from his once tight-knit group of friends.

It was probably because they had no use for him since they didn't pull childish shenanigans as they once did. Butters didn't know. Despite being in all AP classes, Butters sure didn't know a lot.

So he now took to entirely focusing on his schoolwork. He finished everything either early or on time now. He was on the perfect attendance roll for two years now. He never had a disciplinary mark. He was trusted by the teachers to run errands for them and even allowed into the off bounds teacher lounge. Butters wasn't good at a lot of things but he was good at being good. He had had enough of his parent's punishments to teach him that.

His once friend Kyle was in three of his AP classes, but he didn't talk to Butters anymore. He and Stan had gotten real close and only really hung out with each other. But that was okay with Butters. He was too lame for Kyle, who had a growth spurt and tamed his once 'Jew-fro' to a nice and tight clean cut, and could understand why he wouldn't want to be seen with Butters. The only difference with Butters was that he had grown a little taller and let his hair grow out of its messy mohawk to a regular cut. He still mashed his knuckles together, still stuttered, and still had that Hick accent of his, albeit his voice was deeper nowadays. People liked different things and Butters definitely didn't fall in that category. Same ol' Butters Stotch.

Him and Cartman still had held their sleepovers in freshman year. But one day, in the middle of the night, Eric had groaned loudly, complaining about how boring Butters was, and had left. They hadn't talked since, if you could count Cartman insulting him a conversation. And he hadn't been very close to Stan anyways.

Kenny, however, had drifted from being the once infamous 'poor kid' to 'popular kid'. He was known to bring the party, always having a steady supply of liquor or drugs, and always down to fuck. Anyone at anytime was his renowned motto. He wandered from clique to clique, receiving love in every shape and form. He was a social butterfly. Butters had told that to Cartman once and had received a black eye and loud insults on how 'faggy' he was. Maybe Eric was just jealous Kenny had screwed Wendy.

To make the story short: Butters was a complete and utter loser, lacking a social life, and received daily beatings from his dad.

It sure wasn't how Butters had pictured his life being like when he had been in the fourth grade.

* * *

Butters hunched over his book, gnawing fitfully on a drawstring of his hoodie, clutching the book in his hands tightly, pinning the pages down with his thumbs so the wind wouldn't turn them. He was getting to the best part when he heard it. A loud, obnoxious guffawing being angrily assaulted with quick, intelligent comebacks. Eric and Kyle. With Stan and Kenny. Just like the old times. They were coming from the inside cafeteria, trays in their hands, or in Eric's case two, and heading for a slightly populated picnic table, four down from Butters' own deserted one.

He couldn't help but smile at the sight of Kyle going as red as his hair at Cartman's messy insults, only to be calmed down by Stan but then quickly roused again as Kenny joined in on the teasing. He knew they still talked to each other but he hadn't seen them hang out since high school started. Not all together. It sure was a nice sight.

_I should be happy for them,_ Butters mused inside his head. But then why did his heart hurt so badly?

He quickly ducked his head again, focusing back on his book and not on his group of ex-friends, diving himself into the world set-up before him on the pages. He didn't want to think about how much he missed being dissed by Cartman or about how his back hurt from his dad beating him with his belt last night. He wanted to be okay.

But, of course, he wasn't okay when he glanced up to find Kenny McCormick staring straight at him, blue eyes bright.

Kenny sure had gotten better looking over the years. He went from a gangly teenager to a filled out young man, having been to the gym every week for the last two years and deciding to keep his hood down instead of covering his face. He had a nice face. He smiled wide, wide enough that small lines crinkled the edges of his eyes. He had a scar on the lower side of his jaw from where he had tripped and scraped it up on the ground. Cartman had laughed so hard he had almost pissed himself. Kenny had gotten tanner, his dirty blonde hair more in control and not a wild mane as it once was. Butters knew why so many people had found the other blonde attractive. But Butters didn't dwell on that train of thought too long because it made his stomach twist and his toes curl. He sure was a faggot.

Butters jumped, hands fumbling, struggling between if he wanted to tighten his hold on the book he was reading or rub his knuckles together. He looked mighty stupid, he knew. He always did.

Kenny did no more but raise an eyebrow at Butters' fumbling before turning back to what Stan was saying.

Right. Butters was so stupid. Of course he was the lame kid.

With a heart sinking into his stomach, Butters ducked his head into his hunched shoulders and tried to read the page before him. But all he could soak in was that he was a complete idiot and probably didn't deserve to see the light of day. Why did he have to be the way he was? And why did he have to be the way he was in front of goddamn Kenny McCormick for Christ's sake?

Hopefully his dad would hurt him extra tonight to compensate for Butters' utter stupidity. He deserved it.

When the bell rang for the next class, Butters had bolted so fast for the doors he ran into Clyde who quickly snapped a, "Hey! Watch it fag!" The blonde was in such a frenzy he didn't even apologize which was 101 Bad Manners. His dad woulda taken the belt to him so fast if he had seen him just then. Butters made a mental note to say sorry later. Right now he had to get to his AP Lit class before his heart exploded. From what, Butters wasn't entirely sure. But he had watched a documentary once about a boy who's heart had exploded just from bein' too excited. Butters sure hoped he wouldn't end up as the next case.

Kyle was in this class and Stan's was the next class down, so they always walked together. As Butters sat in his seat, he could hear them talking and laughing outside. His heart panged again. He sure wished he had friends.

But Butters could dwell on the matter no more as the teacher started up class and his mind became focused on the subject at hand. He was good at things like that. If something caught his attention, he could revolve himself around it at the time being. Whenever he got extra lonely, Butters would sometimes play games, just to immerse himself in something. His mom said it wasn't healthy for him to dodge his problems, but Butters found it hard to confront the problem when he_ was_ the problem. Butters was a total fuck-up. No doubt about it.

For the rest of the day, just the class with Kyle and a next class left, Butters went through the motions that were required of him. But when the final bell rang, he rushed to his locker, spun his code in expertly, took what he needed and dumped what he didn't, and began to hurry to the door. He walked home even if it was a good fifteen minute walk. He had his driving license but had nothing to drive. And the bus was a total nightmare so that was an automatic no. Plus, Butters liked walking. He could listen to music and think to himself.

He was halfway down the hallway to the school's exit when he caught a tall blonde emerge from around the corner ahead of him, hands deeply stuffed in pockets. They were going to walk past each other. Oh Jesus, Mary, and Joseph he was going to have to walk past Kenny. Unless he just buried himself in a locker nearby and hid it out. But that seemed unlikely to happen.

So Butters took the reasonable option and quickened his footsteps while keeping his head down. _Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact. _

"Hey Butters."

And then Kenny was behind him and his heavy footsteps fading away.

Once Butters breached outside the school, he tightened his grip on his backpack and bolted the rest of the way home.


End file.
